And so I was going to write about Louise Mensch’s really rather spectacular attempt to make a late bid to steel Nadine Dorries silly arse of the year (talking nonsense category) for her recent dive into the political limelight. The first term member of parliament for Corby seems to think that because she has a popular mandate of less than 2,000 that she can make preposterous statements that A) make people feel sorry for Piers Morgan B) denounce social media as a fuel for anti-social behaviour despite being on it and seeing that it's nothing of the sort and C) making the worst sort of brown nosing comments about how David Cameron is the new and rosy cheeked saviour of the free world and rescuer of repressed people everywhere (obviously not including Syria, Bahrain, Tibet, Somalia, Zimbabwe, Burma or Iran but even Superman couldn’t be everywhere at once). All this helps her put herself forward as the greasiest pole licker of 2011, an award that will no doubt sit nicely next to her runners up spot for the silly arse of the year contest (I still think she’s made her run a little too late to unseat Dorries but she seems to have overtaken such fantastic shitmongers as Daniel Hannan, Sayeeda Warsi, Eric Pickles and “Fishy” Michael Gove so she’s not doing badly).
But I decided that I didn’t want to write about that, partly because she doesn’t need my help too boost her popularity drive and partly because she gave me a headache earlier because she looks weird and I find it hard to look at her slightly odd shaped head without squinting and viewing her from an uncomfortable angle.
I was then going to write about whether I’d rather be in Wolverhampton Wanderers position, played two games, won two games and top of the premier league, but having beaten Blackburn Rovers, a team who will be surely in and around the bottom three all season and the likeliest of the non-promoted teams to save one of either Norwich, Swansea or Queen’s Park Rangers from a quick return to the championship, and Fulham, a team who travel so badly that they’re due to play India at cricket in Mumbai next week just to give the Indians something to cheer about. Or whether I’d rather be in West Bromwich Albion’s shoes, having played two and lost two but got the two most difficult sides, Manchester United and Chelsea out of the way before the August Bank Holiday. But then I decided that I didn’t care about that either.
I thought about writing about how the Libyan rebels march into Tripoli and the fact that 2011 has now seen four dictators in the Arab world deposed by popular uprisings seems a little like the fall of Communism and maybe the world will actually have a slightly more peaceful future but I’ve already cobbled together half a story of the fall of the Berlin Wall and so I may just stick it in with that and so I was back to square one again.
So essentially I’ve run out of things to say. Well at least things that I actually want to talk about as opposed to what’s been happening in the news over the weekend. I'm sure I’ll think of something, I usually do, but for now you’ll just have to read this and wait for something more inspired.