Wednesday, 10 August 2011

Stewart Lee Becomes Latest Victim of "Mindless Hooligans"

The comedian Stewart Lee has become the latest innocent victim of the waves of mad violence currently sweeping the UK. On Tuesday 9th August the 43 year old comic received confirmation that all the unsold copies of his DVDs Stand-Up Comedian, Stewart Lee's Comedy Vehicle Series 1 and Stewart Lee's Comedy Vehicle Series 2 have been utterly destroyed in a fire, started by rioters, at the Sony Distributors' London Warehouse. It is unclear wether new copies of the DVDs will be manufactured. The callous TV opportunist urged fans to order any remaining copies of the three titles from Amazon, or to snap them up in the shops, before they disappear for ever. "A surge in sales of the few extant copies of these titles would be the perfect way to teach these mindless hooligans a lesson," he explained, adding, "There is no immediate threat to the DVDs 90s Comedian, 41st Best Stand-Up Ever and If You Prefer A Milder Comedian Please Ask For One, or to my book How I Escaped My Certain Fate, but it might be best to get these too." The sick Hackney comedian also warned of the possibility that he himself might be destroyed by rioters at some unspecified point in the distant future, and urged fans to book tickets for his forthcoming London run of shows and 2012 national tour; "A surge in ticket sales would be the perfect way to teach these mindless hooligans a lesson."

1 comment:

  1. In all seriousness though, I will post my thoughts on the riots later.