So, there I was just starting to write about Jim Jeffries and Doug Stanhope’s DVDs when something compelled me to listen Cher Lloyd’s debut single Swagger Jagger. I can only describe the compulsion as some sort of audio rubbernecking. Indeed, that’s a good analogy as the record itself does sound like a car crash, a mish-mash of two or three records… two or three really bad records.
It’s obviously already been mentioned that the chorus is verging on out and out plagiarism of Oh My Darling, Clementine which clearly makes it the best written part of the song. On the whole it’s sub Flo-Rida tat, it makes the Black Eyed Peas sound like a collaboration between Beethoven and Shakespeare. I’d say it was music for children but both of mine recoiled in horror when I played it to them.
Lloyd receives a writing credit for the track, I would imagine that her only input would be along the lines of “errr, I wan’ it ta be ‘bout me swagger ‘n’ sh*t innit right”. I appreciate that writing about her is playing into her hands and I’m angry at myself for doing it but someone has to make it stop. The end of music as we know it is nigh.